Poetry Café
Imagine that you have been invited to read one of your poems at the beatific Luna Café in downtown Sacramento. Your friends and family members will be there and of course the regular customers who frequent the coffee shop. The owner of the coffee shop, a friend of your family, has asked you specifically to discuss how you created your poem and the choices you made as you developed your poem into the great work of art that it is today.
You remember some of the sage words of advice from your former English teacher, Mr. Coey, and you prepare ideas in response to the questions he asked you to consider many years ago:
- What words did you carefully chose? Why? What effect are you trying to create with your word choice? What kinds of sentences, phrases, or clauses did you use? Why?
- How did you develop your style? What kind of mood (atmosphere) are you trying to create? What kind of attitude, or tone, do you want us to hear? Why?
- Are there important figures of speech in your poem? Why do you want to make those comparisons?
- How important is the form of the poem?
- How do you develop a theme or motif?
I love the way you use numerous similes and metaphors to express your thoughts in a way that I can see and understand the images and ideas being put across.
oops…this was supposed to be for Alex’s poem…
I am from a tree
Hearing and feeling of the wind
As it goes around and under
The wind is a friend,
Without it, it is lonely.
It come from the dirt and grows all the way,
Until the branches reaches to the sky.
A tree is a person as the leaves represent the face,
While the branches and the root represents the hands and feet
The rest of it is the body.
The words I carefully chose were tree, person, and friend. I chose these words because to me I think trees are lonely and so I thought that they need a friend and that’s how I got the words tree and friend. Also I think trees are pretty, so I used it as one of my topic for a poem. I chose the word person because I feel a tree is a person that can do what a person can do. I thought the tree is like a person because of how trees were made. For an example the branches are like hands just like what my poem is saying.
I developed my style to this poem was that I didn’t really think about the style I wanted to. I just wrote how the way I feel where it should belong to or where I want the words t be. The mood I tried to create was a warm or cozy mood. The tone or the attitude that I want to hear is like calm tone to this poem when reading it. I chose it to be a calm tone for this poem because I think the words I pick is calm and the word wind makes it calm because when you feel the wind, it makes you relax and calm.
I don’t know if it’s important but I use a metaphor in this poem. I wanted to make it a comparison to a person because I think trees and people are the same in life. For an example we need food and water in our body to survive and a tree needs water to survive also. Also I think trees are a huge impact on us and earth or nature created us and the trees.
The form of this poem wasn’t important because I didn’t think about the style of how I am going to write this poem. I thought more about where I would put the words at than the form. To me I think this poem, the words are more important than the form because it expressing the feeling you have and what you think about and your trying to show imagery with it.
Developing a theme, I thought about nature and I try to show it in this poem but I don’t think it really shows it. A theme is a message and you can develop by the title or the conclusion of the poem.
The used of the words”A tree is a person…” give a sense of humanity. Nice poem by the way. I like it !
Your smile is like the beautiful sunshine,
It lights up my dark world with warm embrace,
All I can see are the loving land mines,
Life is all too short without your warm grace.
A day without you is like you know night,
All that shines in the night are lonely stars,
The stars all shine bright but there is no light,
I searched the night sky and found you afar.
When you say hello I yearn for that hug,
When you say goodbye I yearn for that kiss,
Sometimes I think you are like toxic drug,
I look in my heart and found endless bliss.
I cherish each smile that you give each day,
For each smile is a million ricochet.
In my sonnet I carefully chose the words for the end rhymes because I wanted my poem flow smoothly and the same time still expressing my thoughts to the reader. In addition I tried to create bright and loving imagery with my word choice. For my sentences I used short phrases that expressed a complete idea because I wanted to say the most I could with the fewest words.
I developed my style by making numerous comparisons such as similes and metaphors. In addition I tried to create a blissful and innocent mood for the readers to feel. As for the tone I wanted the reader to hear a soft, loving, and yearning tone in which is directed towards his love one.
The figure of speech in my sonnet is very important because it describes everything about her as well as what she means to me.
The form of my poem is very important because without it my rhyme scheme would be off the mark as well as my iambic pentameter.
I developed the theme of my poem by making numerous comparisons of what she means to me. The theme of my poem is that without love, life would be a mistake.
Toubee, our sonnet was and has a great amount of meaning. That meaning to me is because it gives the warm and grateful chill to this person you wrote about. The choice that you chose for the words you used like “embrace, grace, light, afar…” I love the way you used all this to give that meaning of how she is to you. I believe that we can all enjoy and go in depth with your writing… Over all it was great to me and I bet to many others.
Alex,
When you write “that meaning” are you implying affection or some other idea?
Coey
Toubee i understand you creates dramatic imagery in your word such as “toxic drug, each smile is a million ricochet,” and when you say goodbye I yearn for that kiss. I suggest that this is what you are going through. This is a poem I would read if I’m waiting for that person in life to show my love and affection.
Learning how to write a sonnet
The sonnet form is old and full of dust.
And yet I want to learn to write one well.
To learn new forms and grow is quite a must.
But I will learn it quickly, I can tell.
And so I sit with my pen in my hand
Determine my 3 quatrains with a rhyme.
The rhythm flows like wind at my command.
The A-B-A-B form consumes my time.
But I’m not done until there’re 14 lines.
One ending couplet, after 3 quatrains.
I’ve tried to write this form several times.
The effort’s huge; I have to rack my brain.
But I persist, my 14 lines are done
I wrote my sonnet, my poem is one.
1.I carefully chose rhyming words at the ends of each stanza because those rhyming words are describing of what my poem is like. The affect I’m trying to create is that I want the readers to know how hard it is to write a sonnet. I used iambic pentameter in my poem because in a sonnet you must include 3 quatrains and 2 couplets.
2.To develop my style, I used the word “well” to express that to learn how to a sonnet is hard but no matter, I will write one well. I tried to create a happy and struggle mood. The attitude or mood I want the reader’s to hear is a joyful and happy mood. Because when reading my poem, I want them to think that it is hard at first when writing a poem but as you get closer to the end it will be easy for you. This make me want them to be joyful when reading my poem so they could feel like my sonnet.
3.There are not important figures of speech in my poem. But there is comparison between the sonnet and with the brain. Because when writing a sonnet, it is hard if you don’t focus on what you’re going to write about so you will have to rack your brain for you to be able to think and write a sonnet.
4.The form of my poem is important because my poem show how hard I’ve tried to write the 3 quatrains and the two couplets.
5.I develop a theme in my poem by showing the reader of how much I put my effort into my sonnet for me to be able to write one sonnet. And it also shows the reader that when writing a sonnet, it is not as easy as you think it is but then as you keep on trying and trying then you will be able to write out a sonnet.
VANG ! your poem is Awesome I Love it <3 i don't think anyone would have thought about writing this topic . its unique and you followed the rules and finished it with Ease. it seems you have been writing sonnets for years haha keep it up (=
Thanks Stanley.
This is a fantastic poem!
Thanks Jessie.
Vang this sonnet about a sonnet is genius
Thanks Paul (:
Just the fact that you wrote a sonnet about writing a sonnet is different in its own way and i like it(:
Hahah. Thanks Ismael 😀
Peacefulness
It’s seven o’clock,
The sun has started to set,
You see the colors of orange, yellow, and pink
In the distance
The sunset is like serenity,
A state of tranquility,
Calmness.
It is the smile on your face.
Your smile lights up the world.
The face is filled with happiness.
The sun had fallen, saying
Its last goodbyes before
The moon and stars say hi.
-Peacefulness
1.I chose words like “calmness”, “tranquility”, and “serenity” to stress the feeling of peace and happiness. I wanted people to imagine sitting outside watching the sunset because it’s just so calming. You always go watch the sunset when you’re upset or mad just because it’s so calming. I love watching the sun set its so pretty.
2.I tried to create a place where people would not worry about all of their problems, just live in the moment. Whenever you are you feeling down do not worry because life will get better. I want people to hear a tone of caring and joyfulness.
3.I used similes, metaphors, and imagery to create my poem. “The sunset is like serenity” is a simile that I really like because it expresses how I feel. The sunset is one of my favorite aspects of life so I wanted people to understand what it meant to me.
4.The form of the poem is important because it separates each section or idea I had to compare to the sunset. Every stanza represents another idea and it finally leads to one conclusion: Peacefulness.
5.I developed the theme in this poem by just talking about what I love in life. I just wrote how I felt when I think of the sunset or watch the sunset with someone special. The theme of the poem is to just live life in the moment and don’t worry about all your problems. Just enjoy life. (:
Your choice of the words moon and stars develop the calm mood in the poem. I really like your poem it makes me feel at peace and i could really imagine myself being there. 🙂
thanks maisy (:
PERSISTENCE
The salmon glides gracefully
through the silky, crystal clear water,
with the cool breeze and swaying trees
reaching to touch the gentle stream.
The salmon is like
the luminous sun,
standing out from all of its ambiance.
It is the volcanic magma
struggling its way up
fighting through every obstacle in its way.
The salmon aims for its destination
through the rough waters of the river,
around the dangers of it predators.
It never withdraws-
Persistence.
-Dmitriy Goncharuk
1. I chose words like “luminous” and “ambiance” because I was trying to create a majestic effect. I wanted the audience to feel the power and grandeur of the salmon. I used phrases such as “volcanic magma” to express the severity of the salmon’s circumstances.
2. I developed my style by choosing the words that I like and the ones I think will grab more attention. Also, I created a breathtaking atmosphere, an atmosphere that can inspire the reader. I wanted the reader to feel like they are actually the ones going through the obstacles that the salmon went through. Also, I wanted a meaningful tone that makes us realize the truth and be able to comment on this truth.
3. I included an abundance of figures of speech in my poem such as imagery, simile, metaphor, and symbols. I wanted to make these comparisons because they help me reveal my thoughts about the salmon to the fullest. They helped me express my ideas in a greater way.
4. The form of the poem is somewhat important there are a few rules to look at before writing the poem. However, there were no rules to specify the number of syllables lines, etc. I also, chose to capitalize words that represent an idea or a main aspect of my thoughts.
5. I developed a theme of persistence by focusing all of my main ideas around the message and truth that I want to convey. I wanted to focus on the fact that if you keep persisting, you will get there and it will bring you the greatest amount of joy and satisfaction that you ever needed.
The imagery in your poem develops the idea of “persistence”. I like how you described how the fish swam in the water. I was able to see the actions of a real fish swimming through the river. [: I also like your wordchoice. I appreciate your choice of words, for it creates a superior tone for the readers.
COOL IMAGERY!!! The use of words” silky, crystal clear water, cool breeze, and gentle stream” gives a sense of nature, which adds to the calm and straight forward tone of the poem. Also the adjectives you described the nouns creates an incredible comparison to develop a persistence tone. I like the personification, ”the salmon aims for its destination.” It’s because the personification develops a active motion of the salmon.
That is an awesome poem!! Final got the chance to read it!! 😀
1. I chose words and phrases that created a complete picture of where I am from. Because, I think people need to know that it wasn’t easy, but I managed to be successful through all the problems.
2. I developed my style by using my childhood to let me keep writing, as long as thoughts were flowing, I was writing. I was trying to create an atmosphere of animosity, to get people out of there element so they’d understand where I’m coming from.
3. No, there are no important figures of speech in my poem, I chose to keep it simple and completely understandable. I didn’t make any commparisons.
4. The form is based off of my poem outline, where I chose what i would write about in each stanza. So before I wrote the poem, I was able to see what it would look and sound like.
5. The theme of my poem is, “No matter the condition you’re in during a certain time in your life, you’ll get through it if you believe on yourself and believe in those around you”
Beauty in your smile lightens up my day
It lightens up my world like it was late
I love you because you’re with me all day
I can’t imagine a day without you
When I’m without you I feel unsecure
I look at myself happy by your side
You are my present and my future
The way I feel about you I can’t hide
I felt myself get lost within your eyes
The way your lips feel I would not share
Your body so smooth all I say is hi
The symmetry of your body is rare
You are beautiful from the outside in
When I got you I know I got the win
In my sonnet I chose a couple of words carefully and one of the major ones was the word love. I sort of stressed about this word wondering if I knew what love really was or if I was just imagining fake love. With the word love I was trying to create a relaxing and safe mood so the readers could know that this sonnet is completely relaxing.
I developed my style in a simple way which was remembering the good times I had with that loved one.in the sonnet I was trying to give out a happy/joyful mood by using letting the poem be relaxing and basically a love poem. When I imagine my readers reading this sonnet I want them to know that there is love in the air and that is what loves feels like. The reason I want the reader to think this is because if they have ever been in love I would love them to be able to connect to the sonnet.
There were no figures of speech in my poem because I think that my poem needed to be simple so the reader would understand it the first time reading it.
The form of the poem is extremely important because there are so many rules in creating a sonnet. For example there must be only ten syllables in each line and three quatrains and one couplet if you don’t have that then you doesn’t have a sonnet.
The way I developed my theme by having many similarities leading to a few theme. My theme was love is so hypnotizing and makes you think about every single detail of the one you love.
Although you chose to use ‘got’ in your last line in my opinion your couplet was AMAZING. YOU GOT THE WIN!
Where I’m From
I am from the white roses in the garden
and the Lemon tree in the backyard.
From my mom’s Puerto Rican rice to the
little wishing things lying in my backyard.
I am from wanting to wrestle my brothers
and the only girl child.
I’m from a big spacey room,
queen-sized bed and a lot of shoes.
From the flowers on my dresser to the stuffed animals above.
I am from the Bachata music on my playlist,
to the photos on my wall.
I am from the Happy Birthdays my brother sang to me
and the unforgettable puppies.
I am from the sound of the waves
and the crystal clear blue water.
From the sound of the breeze,
the birds chirping and flying everywhere.
Coco nut trees and Palm trees swinging and moving
by the beautiful wind.
From Puerto Rico and the tropical weather.
I am from that moment get away
Forever !
I chose my descriptive words carefully because
I wanted to express where it is that I’m
coming from and how these memories are still living with me as of today. With my word choice I tried to have the readers
be more involved and interested on reading my poem,
so I chose words that explained my memories, but as well informed others who I truly am. I tried to use a lot of imagery in my poem, so I used descriptive words,
colors, objects and setting.
As I sat down and began to write, my style began to develop on its own. I didn’t know what I had planned to write because when it was first assigned the only thing I thought to myself was “Its to personal” , because the fact I don’t like sharing things about me. Then I just jotted down all of my memories that I could remember and continued to develop the style for my poem. While continuing to write my poem, the kind of mood
I was trying to create was a peaceful, joyful mood.
The kind of tone I wanted my audience to hear was a
sparkling and happy tone because I have a lot of unforgettable memories and growing up and still have them with me is blessing. I also chose to compare myself to white rose at the beginning of the poem because as a child, I’m
living an innocent peaceful life.
The form of the poem is very important. Throughout the poem the words, “I am from” is being used repeatedly. The first stanza is about your childhood and memories that you still remember. The second stanza is about your present and how you live now and your last stanza is about your dream place and future. Where you choose to be and where I chose, I find peace.
I developed a theme by using my thoughts and memories from my life to express that, every memory is an experience/ gift that you have lived and its always going to be a part of your life, whether it’s good or bad.
Zenaida,
I fell for your poem, mainly because there were an amount of certain parts that I was related to. I believe it was mostly the “childhood” part of your poem. I,too, remember as a child having a bedroom with a queen size bed and lots of stuff animals organized on the shelf above the wall. Towards the ending of your poem talking about the future about how where you wanna be, I have the same dream about wanting to live near the beach or so,but not in puerto rico lol. I’m sure every one does. I enjoyed your poem and loved it. You did a great job with your poem.
You make me want to go to Puerto Rico. Nice poem
awwwwhh (= i love it ! its nice i could see the stuff animals and hearing your brothers singing you happy birthday Lol i enjoy it keep it up <3
Your topical imagery and description in the poem projects peacefulness. Your choice of the words “puppies, music,and rice,” displays the idea of growing up.
Sonnet:
Something happened and I was unaware
Time went by and my body tried to speak
I had tried to ignore it and not care
But it refused to let me act so weak
At last the truth was before my own eyes
But I hid long from the truth and denied
Then one day I promised it no goodbyes
It is life and to me it is well tied
Now there is no room in life for sadness
For this will be a different kind of love
I will experience true happiness
Nothing more at all will be placed above
My own precious little darling angel
My baby boy Leonardo Miguel
Analysis:
When developing this poem I chose words that demonstrated what I was feeling or thinking during certain moments. I chose to develop my poem this way because it would create a mood. I am trying to allow others to see my internal conflicts and how I resolved them, because I want them to receive a message. I developed my style by making a few of my phrases my actions and the others all my thoughts and feelings, so that people can actually imagine being in this situation. I want people to feel awareness, see fear, but hear excitement. The figure of speeches I used was metaphor and personification. In lines two and four I gave my body a voice of its own when I stated that it had “tried to speak” and “had refused to let me act weak”. In line eight I stated “It is life…” referring to the fetus I had conceived, was a living being although it had not yet been fully human. The form of this sonnet poem is important because if you change one of the seven rules it affects the entire poem and is not considered a sonnet. A theme is developed by creating a message about humanity.
i really like this poem, it has a lot of meaning and i feel i can almost relate. good job (:
The use of the words “Then one day I promised it no goodbyes” gives a sense of reality and struggles but yet hopefulness, which affectionate.
I love the poem!
* which adds to the affectionate tone of the poem.
I love your poem ! Its so personal, yet you still chose to share it. The word choice in the first stanza and second stanza develops how you were afraid of the truth and refuse to face it , but then realized that is was reality and its is something that cannot be ignored. I like how you developed your poem, its touching !
A poem is like a woman,
There are millions in the world,
They are both hard to understand,
It is hard to find the perfect one-
I know your somewhere out there
Waiting for me,
I need you…
For you keep me going
Like a car running on gas-
You take me places
That i would never imagine.
I need you …
I chose to insert the line about how challenging it is to find the perfect poem and woman because it is true. You will not like every poem that comes to you just like u will not like every woman that comes to you. So in other words I chose this line because I think it was the line that made the most sense. I used a few similes and personifications in my poem so that I may get my reader to start and picture my poem in their head.
I was trying to get a type of humorous yet true type of mood when I created this poem. When I had recited this poem in the class everyone seemed to chuckle a bit and agreed with what I was saying, so I think I had succeeded in trying to set the mood. However, I wanted them to hear a serious type of tone when I was reading because I thought it went with the poem pretty well.
To me the most important type of figure of speech I used in my poem was personification because I gave the poem human like characteristics to get my point through about how women and poems are quite similar. The form of my poem was not that important. The theme of my poem is that it is hard to find the perfect one. I developed this theme by basically stating it throughout my poem.
i appreciate the choice of words you used i can so relate to it <3
Which choice of words and in what ways do you relate to the words?
Coey
p.s. be specific
Why shall thy smile like the blossoming rose
So handsome yet full of lies and secrets
Can’t complain while he has the witches nose
Manipulating me with the chocolates
The feel of spring brings you the feel of love
Especially when the prince is Peter
It’s amazing that he came from above
Sugar is sweet but Peter is sweeter
But through it all his touch was cold as ice
Reading his heart; was full of lust and might
Looking at his story , he paid his price
his price, was his identity, his fight
I thought I went through rough times, his was worse
He showed me how to control my remorse
I carefully chose the words that show affection and the other side to Peter. For example I choose the words sweet, feel of love, rough times, secrets, and cold as ice. I wanted those words to show how one man may look so happy with his life but when you look further into that man he may be the saddest person, or maybe he may be going through more things in life then you know. I decided to choose the sentence” But through it all his touch was cold as ice”, because it was something that I discovered being around him, that his appearance was so friendly and fun but when I actually had the chance to know him better he had all these problems at home and with school.
For my sonnet I wanted to develop a happy beginning about someone you love then, like all stories I ended it with knowledge that we learn from the other person. I learned that in the end your story or life may be sad but the person next to you may even have a harder story to tell. I wanted to create an atmosphere that was downhearted but at the same time uplifting. I wanted my classmates to hear my spoken words and that you may go through numerous events in life that bring you down but always know when to move from that moment into something that can bring you JOY. <3
One figure of speech that I used was “The feel of spring brings you the feel of love”. I choose this figure of speech because many people think that it is true and because I thought that it would express the meaning of love. It would express the meaning of love because when its spring people do “blossom” and be “sprung” because the atmosphere is beautiful and it gives you the desire to spend it with someone. I compared the feel of spring with the feel of love because love is new and when flowers come out that’s when you want to come out to someone and share your time with them until probably summer, LOL.
The form of my poem is important because I guess that the first 2 quatrains show how happy he is but then the other quatrain and couplet is how strong he is and even though his days were rough he fought through it all.
I develop my theme by my knowledge of Peter and his life, his words, and what happens to him in life at home and school. I also discover that people have to sides to their life and that we may only see one out of the two.
*two
I enjoyed reading your poem Alice, and i know your talking about me in your porm! (;
#kidding:P
Oh sure, ! xD AHAHHA
You wish.
aww thanks Alice see you do know me so well 🙂
🙂 Ha ~ I do.
haha this poem is soo cute! love it (:
Thank you Angelena 🙂
Your choice of word creates a supportive tone. I can see that you rely on Peter through this poem and he supports you.It also show the readers your feelings towards Peter( Dadd!![:) The reader is able to feel the “Sweet but Bitter”ness of your poem. (= I Luv yu, Mommie&Daddie! <3
Thank you maisy
That was what I was trying to do as well as show my feelings for Peter 🙂
Your poem is extremely deep. It implies both love and pain. By reading this I can see how important Peter is to you and how he has made a difference in your life by helping you only see the joy in life.
Although you’re old and wrinkled you’re awesome
You’re nicer than suits and sweeter than tea.
I keep saying loudly when will you come?
When will you make cake and get to see me?
Oh Grandma Grandma how awesome you are,
Every six months I get to see my ma.
I love you although you don’t have a car,
And when you call to birds saying caw caw
The best food I’ve ate comes from only you
All the burritos and cake I have ate
Just like my father loves you I do to
The world put us together cause of fate.
So when you leave I will be like man, awe
But as long as you’re here I will grow tall.
In this sonnet I carefully choose all the words because of their syllables but I especially chose the words grandma, old, and awesome because they were descriptive words about my grandma. With my word choice I was trying to make the reader imagine my grandma. I chose declarative and compound sentences to show when I was done with an idea.
I devolved my style by placing words like nice, awesome and wrinkled to make the confortable atmosphere .I want you to hear I calm tone.
Yes there is figure of speech and I make that comparison to describe how may grandma is.
The form of the poem is very important because it is a sonnet and to make a sonnet there a certain rules you have to follow.
I develop the theme thought the story by adding my emotions and showing what I think of my grandma.
Miquel I like how your choice of similes in your sonnet developes an appreciative mood within your sonnet.
I love my GRANDMA too man
awwwwwh ! im tearing up this poem is awesome and i can relate to this poem . (= we all love our Grandmas <3
Miguel! I like your poem! Your sweet word choice develops a happy and joyful mood. This poem made me laugh and smile. I appreciate you sweet word choice! This poem is awesome!
Yet, “sweet” denotes sweetness. What exactly do you mean when you say sweet word choice? Are you saying precise?
Coey
AWESOME ! Your poem remind me of my grandma when i used to lived with her. Your poem created a memorable mood.
Your poem is sweet 🙂 it demonstrates your affection towards your grandma and builds on your appreciation for having her.
Where I am from Poem:
The plum tree which I climbed expertly during summer
While it blossoms small white flowers in spring
Having Chulo, my brown haired boxer dog with
A black nose and big black eyes barking aloud and ready to play
It’s beautifully drawn body, low, long, and old
The 1965 primer grey Impala parked in front
Exhausting long contact drills for playing football
Since six, laying on the ground in my backyard
Waiting to get up to go POP!
My bed is the place to go when exhausted
Not another thought is in my head but sleep
Lying on my bed is one of the greatest things
I feel my bones relax, muscles soothe, and a blank mind
My bed is where most of my day is spent
It causes funny and happy dreams
Its location is where valuable conversation is at
You can hear the laughs and fun with my family
Pass by the famous, gigantic, white words of HOLLYWOOD
The letters many wish to see
Traveling past monuments, great buildings, cars, motels
Break at fast food and sleep at hotels
Visit my skinny, nice, old aunt
Missing her a lot is why we spend a lot of time there
Food, clothes, music, smell, and diversity
The fantastic Mexican Culture of L.A.
I just chose adjectives carefully to describe what I love and show how much I love them. I used regular sentences to show that it was a routine in my daily life for the past and present. I developed style by just remembering those good times in my life. My mood is trying to set off happiness. I use a kind of a calm tone because I am a calm person. There are not important figures of speech because I like to well describe things well. The form of the poem is not important. The poem just reflects on memories and shows how it affects you today for a message on life. This was a calm poem because it is just the past.
Where I’m From
I’m from a place where you take no days off
Rain or shine hard work must be done.
I’m from a place where “boys” had to
Become young men as soon as possible.
I’m from whistles and stripes,
The Authorities
Who let me know they were in charge
As if they were my parents.
I’m from pepperoni pizza and warm pretzels with cheese
From the family that owned the Pizzeria.
I’m from the Planet of the Zombies and Air Hockey tables
Where I could never beat the older kids but crushed the kids my age.
I’m from Southwest Airlines, basketball tournaments
Seattle, Vancouver, Portland, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, San Diego
Reno, San Francisco, Orlando, You name it.
I’m from my older brother’s supervision
Ice Cream, Cookies…CAKE and PIE!
From the Emergency Room where I was often at
Due to my dare devil ways as a little kid, and because of sports
When I’m there, the doctors say “Jalen, back already?”
I’m from a place where you take no days off
Rain or shine, hard work must be done.
I’m from an island far away
Where unacceptable behavior isn’t tolerated
I’m from a school on the beach, and
There’s all teenage teachers.
The water is blue with sparkles, crystal clear.
I’m from Five Star Buffet’s, breakfast, lunch
And dinner
Being full of food, to go lay in my king size
Water bed
I am from a group of friends who are all
Positive influences on my life.
The use of the words “I am from whistles and stripew” let the readers know that you, Jalen, are the tone of the poem. Your tone is really calm just to show where you came from and that its you. your imagery also lets us know exactly what you have been through. An example is how you describe your food.
Your lips are salt water touching the beach.
How can one love one if these two divide?
To share ones love is to put it on each.
I want is to make you my only bride.
Do you know how much your love is to me?
To feel your love is all I ever want.
Remember the time that we first met.
Looking at you when you ate that croissant.
Every day I see that beautiful face.
Just wondering if you still have that spark.
Only your love I would always embrace.
But your love to me is already marked.
Your love is what makes me go through the day.
Your love is something that can’t be portray.
I choose my word carefully because it was the feeling I felt during that experience I had with the girl. I created rich words of the feeling I had for her and how lovely my love is for her. The style that I use was putting a description about the girl and changing it to words of how I feel about her. Yes, there are important figure of speech in my poem like “How can one love one if these to divide.” This shows in the time to figure out what word to choose in the events that I had experience. The form of the poem is really important because it shows what type of poem I’m writing. I develop a theme by putting events that happen into the poem such as “Your love is what makes me go through the day.”
Oh, how cute. 🙂
This sonnet is very romantic and I liked how your couplet concludes the sonnet leaving the reader in aww.
Peter,
Your caring tone combined with the loving rhyme scheme creates an affectionate mood.(:
I can’t compare you’re your love but I can try
Much like a blind man who sees with the heart
Your there every time to wipe the tear I cry
I’m torn with the thought of being apart
MY soldier, MY guardian, MY love, MY life
Always coming back and forth like a tide
You pull but I’m still here, your gangster wife
Forever or always you can decide
You are an angel sent from above, God sent
Weeks, months go by all spent in ecstasy
Laying on you memorizing your scent
Let’s runaway and live our fantasy
A fairytale in real life, no ending
Real & make believe no longer opposing.
I choose the rhyming word before writing the actual sonnet. Making a list of words that rhymed and connected with one another was my main goal. When choosing not only the rhyming words but most of the descriptive words I was mainly thinking of words that are also connected with both myself & the person the poem was dedicated to.
I would say the poem has a loving and joyful mood. At times it may seem playful but it does not go into sad or depressed. At tone of enjoying life and what comes with that mood. I really didn’t think of any mood I wanted to share, I just wrote the poem without thinking of a tone.
I compared him to a tide but it wasn’t just him it was the whole relationship. This comparison was made because I know that there a whole bunch of fights that pulls us apart, but still there that push that unites us again.
The form of the poem is noticeable in the first line of the second quatrain. The word “my” is written in all capital letters because I decided I wanted it emphasized. I capitalized all the first letters of all the lines because it looked nice.
The theme was developed by the feeling s I have for this one person and what many other people feel for their man or girlfriend. This theme and poem was made from feelings everyone will feel or have felt for someone else.
Maira, I enjoyed your poem. This poem filled me with confidence. Your choice of the words “A fairytale in real life” develops the happy mood.
I like how you used metaphor in your poem by comparing love with the blind man.
I loved your use of similie in lines five and six”Always coming back and forth like a tide.You pull but I’m still here, your gangster wife”. It reveals patience and loyalty. It hints at ones first or true love. This poem took me back a couple of years 🙂 I love it.
Where I’m From
I am from the cold and filthy water,
Infested with all types of creatures
Snakes, Fishes, and even bugs.
I am from the cold feeling of the dihydrogen monoxide
As it flows in between my scrawny fingers.
I am from the sweet, chocolately, delicious scent
Of freshly baked cookies flying through the air.
I am from a messy, messy house,
So messy it’s as if a hurricane had
Hit Katrina.
I am from Wonderland,
Just like Alice, but Angelena in Wonderland.
From a place where you’re confused, afraid, but curious,
Free to be eager and to explore the new world
Around you.
From a world to observe,
Observe the life and mysteries around you.
I am from a place of all colors, shapes, and sizes.
I am from- A Place Unknown.
I chose my descriptive words carefully because I wanted the word to fully describe and express myself and where I came from. With my word choice I tried to lure my readers into the poem, and showing them who I truly am inside. I used a couple of similes to compare where I am from, to give the readers a better image and understanding of what I am talking about. Like when I used, “A hurricane had hit Katrina.” You can really picture how Katrina looks after and huge hurricane, and that’s how I wanted to show my readers how my house would normally look like.
I developed my style as I started to think on paper. I wrote how I felt and it just sort of shaped by itself. The mood and tone I was going for was a deep, dark, and mysterious tone but with a bit happiness in it. That’s the type of person I am, and I wanted this poem to connect with my feelings and I.
Every figure of speech I’ve used in my poem are all important to me because I believe it expresses who I am and how I think. “Free to be eager and to explore..” I’m an eager person who likes to explore and be outgoing towards the world around me.
The form of my poem is not as much important to me then the poem itself. The choices I made on my poem weren’t on purpose. The way it is, is how it originally came out. I believe every word, stanza, and every line is important because even if the line or word means nothing, it means the world to me because it describes the type of person I am.
I developed my theme through my imagery and figures of speech. I wanted them to know that even though you are confused and afraid, don’t be afraid to go out into the world and express who you are. We all have our differences and that is what keeps us apart from other beings.
I like how through the entire poem it starts off as a setting where you live in a slum and as the poem progresses the setting of the poem becomes more extravagant towards the ending, and the comparison of Alice in wonderland to Angelena in wonderland really creates a iuxurious setting at the end.(:
You have a descriptive poem. The adjectives helped develop my knowledge of your personality and your childhood. The word choice of your poem creates an image and I was able to see the pictures or images in your childhood. I appreciate the descriptive diction because it helps me be able to be in your shoes. This is one of the best poems I read
The childhood imagery develops the theme of ________________.
Which word do you think is most important for developing the mood or the theme?
Coey
Angelena,
I like how your word choice enhances a sense of who you actually are as a person (: I liked how you referred to ‘Alice in Wonderland’ to make it ‘Angelena in Wonderland’ which creates a sense of humor and laughter. I appreciate the diction in your poem because it is descriptive and it shows what it would be like to be Angelena(:
Say bye to winter.
Now say Hello to spring,
The sun starts to shine.
1. I chose to use these words because I wanted to describe the weather that’s going on right now. For example I chose to say “Say bye to winter” because the weather is changing, getting hotter. I was trying to create a warm feeling in this poem.
2. My style, my style in this poem was short and sweet; I wanted to “Say the most with the fewest words”. The mood I was trying to create was warm and cozy atmosphere. The tone I wanted to create in this poem was a soft tone.
3. No, there are no important figures of speech in my poem. But there is a comparison between winter and spring.
4. The form of this poem is very important because this is my haiku poem and if I had one more syllable in one of the lines, it wouldn’t be called a haiku or it wouldn’t be under that category.
5. The theme I tried to develop was, “Sometimes there are feelings that you need to overcome and accept the ones that are to come”
I like the way you expressed a whole thought with such few words. Your choice of a meaningful theme really expresses the way life actually feels like for a numerous amount of people around the world.
How does it feel? Is this the mood you are describing?
Coey
I have seen you as a pretty green rose
Thou does not have like someone who will die
There is no way thou are just a red rose
Thou is a true gift to the human eye
At times too intricate for thou to rot
often is the color that makes it shine
every rose can rot well her I say not
the Only rose that can stand out ,is mine
But thy eternal beauty does not rest
Or lose the outer beauty as years go on
Life for this rose will never be a test
Thy and life and thy beauty will never be gone
As this rose breathes and gets a glance of sight
It will live even if you strike it with might
I used the word green in my sonnet to show how special she because there is no such thing as a green word. Intricate was used to show there is nothing like her. Lines 9 and 10 pay thanks to how beautiful she is and that her beauty will be forever. Line 7 was chosen to say that any normal girl can lose beauty but she not. I also capitalized the word only to show that she is the only one that stands out.
I developed my by using a rose because a rose is the symbol of love. So that when the reader sees this they will get the idea that it is a love poem. The tone that I try to establish in my sonnet was appreciative tone because I appreciate how different she is and m any regular girl.
The important figures of speech I chose for my sonnet where in lines 1 and 3 were in line 1 it compares her to a pretty green rose, something that has never been seen before.
The way that I formed the poem did not have any effect on how I wanted to reader to see because this was my first sonnet so I was testing to see how I can fill in the requirements and still have it make sense.
I developed of a motif of the girl that I wrote the sonnet about to be different through the use of comparisons. I also develop a theme of you should be grateful when your in love because you do not know if it will always be there.
The use of the words “eternal and beauty” give a sense of gentleness and smoothness, which adds to the passionate tone of the poem.
-Meaning i love this poem and i love how you compare your love to a green rose, it really shows how passionate you are towards her. LOVE IT (:
Poem: “I Am From…Home”
I am from the laughter of kids playing outside
the old washing machines and stuffy room,
I am from the hot sunny days
Playing and eating carefree
From the juicy watermelons and
The jingling of the ice cream cart passing by,
I am from the old apartment building, Room 5
Where Grandma lives next door and you hear the babies cry.
I am from the green plants and herbs
where Chibi and Holly play all day,
From the smell of oil and cement
As my dad works on the red truck
I am from the cookings of mother
And the taste of warm chocolatey cupcakes
From the little TV in grandma’s room
And blankets scattered on the bed.
I am from the oceans waves
sand soft as cotton candy,
From the tropical green trees
Birds chirping and waves splashing
I am from the colorful fruits
Watermelon pieces placed next to pineapples.
From the little peace you feel
As the water slowly crawl up your leg
and back down.
1.The words that I carefully chose out showed imagery for this poem. I carefully chose those words because they helped develop the mood in my poem. With my word choice I want the reader to be able to see and feel what I felt through my childhood. Sentences that I chose to put in my poem where the ones that I remember the clearest.
2.I developed my style by the words that I put into my poem and from the homely mood that I try to create. I tried to create a homely and calm mood because my childhood was mostly calm and I had no worries. The tone or attitude that I wanted the reader to hear is one that is a comforting and relaxing tone.
3.The last 3 lines in my poem have personification. I chose to personify the water because I wanted to explain the feeling of the water in a way where the reader can feel the water on their leg. I also compared sand to cotton candy in the second line of my last stanza because I want the reader to know the feeling of how soft sand is.
4.The form of the poem is very important. In many parts of the poem there is the words “I am from…” repeated. Also the stanza of the poem is your childhood, the second stanza is the present of where you’re living now and the last stanza is the future or your dream place.
5.I develop a theme or motif from the mood that I created in my poem. Also I can develop the motif from the repetition of the words that I used repeatedly in my poem, “I am from…”. The theme of my poem is that no matter where you are, you are always home.
Awesome i love it <3 . i see a clear image in my head and see it so perfectly. keep it up (=
Maisy, to start everything off your “I Am From…Home” story is a really eye-opener. The reason I say this is because of the fact that you’re playful but yet serious tone in all of this. I was over whelmed on all your grateful imagery. The way you chose the words “babies’ cries” was the one image that I can relate to. The reason why is because everyone has heard that noise so it’s where the read can really get a good grasp of this.
I appreciate your beautiful imagery, for it convey your soothing tone about home.
I like your poem Maisy. It reminds me of when i was used to lived in a apartment.
Maisy, this poem is Great! Your choice of the word Home develops the Relaxed mood in the poem. And, i can see a clear picture of your life at home. GREAT JOB!
Oh my Gah ~ I loved the statement of “I am from the laughter of kids playing outside, the old washing machines and stuffy room,” because that gives off the calm image of how when I was a child I would also hear the noises of the washer machine getting hit by the clothes and how the room would be stuffy and all the childern will be playing outside. Its really great imagery.
1. The words I chose carefully were the last words in each of the lines. I chose them carefully because they have to connect to each other and have a rhyming pattern. I was trying to create a rhyming pattern of a sonnet. I used sentences that were ten syllables long and with comparisons.
2. I developed my style by using words that described a person’s trait to a thing. I am trying to create a love and happy tone mixed together. It’s because I want you all to see the feeling that I felt for this person and I want you all to see this person’s face visually.
3. Yes there are figures of speech in my poem. One comparison is that ,”your beauty is like a tree risen.” Also the one about her” beauty does not age like a red rose.”I make these comparisons because I want people to be able to visualize the face of that person. Also see the imagery clearly.
4. The form of this poem is very important because of the ten syllables and five beats in each line. Also because of the four lines in three quatrain and two lines in one couplet.
Also the rhyme pattern makes it more important at the end of each line.
5. I developed this theme by using diction to create imagery of the person’s beauty and also the couplet as the theme. The theme of my poem is that if I am still alive that person of mines will always be in my mind and heart.
Little One
Little One, you are far stronger than me.
You are the tough winds and I am the leaves.
So wakeup and open your eyes to see,
The decorated lights on Christmas Eve.
You are one who does not have any fear,
So fight and destroy this stupid disease.
Hurry because these eyes are running tears.
Fight this and wake up and play with me please.
Little One, you are beautiful and bright.
So solve this problem. Don’t make me feel blue.
I know you are on this very high height.
Just know that we are all waiting for you.
Little One, who is deep asleep in bed,
Just know that I am here patting your head.
In my sonnet, I carefully chose the words “disease, tears, height, blue, deep, and fear” because I wanted to imply what was happening. The problem is not directly stated. With my word choice, I am trying to hint at the problem. The problem was that my little sister was in coma. I used command sentences such as: So wake up and open your eyes to see because I wanted the reader to identify how I felt at that moment.
To develop my style, I used the word “blue” not as a color, but as an emotion. Also, I used the word “bright” not as an effect of a picture, but as intelligent. I am trying to create a gloomy mood. I want the readers to hear a sad tone mixed with a confident tone because I want to show that my hopes are high. No matter what, my little sister will wake up one day.
The metaphor “You are the tough wind and I am the leaves” is important in my sonnet. I wanted to make these comparisons because I wanted others to know that even though she is younger, she is stronger than I am. She has been through more than three surgeries.
The form of the sonnet is important because the quatrains show that I am scared and worried. The couplet shows that even though I am scared and worried, I still have confidence within me. The couplet helps show the reader that one day, my sister will win over this coma.
To develop a motif, I used the phrase “Little One” to describe my sister. It is important not just because it is capitalized, but because it shows that she was little and strong. From this motif, I wanted to develop my theme that I believed:
Even the littlest and youngest one can be stronger than the older one.
I like your sonnet because it reminds me of me and brothers having fun together everyday in summerbreak. 😀
Thanks Ching.
🙂
Hey… well this poem is great way to express both emotions and inner thoughts. The way the word “blue” was used in a way to give an emotion was great. The words in this poem all revolved around on another. It gave the meaning a powerful one, but yet one that can relate to all, i know i did. Also the ending was beautiful, it gave the whole poem a good theme. Also the words were awesome in here.
Thanks Alex
🙂
I like how in line 2 you used that metaphor to show how develope an idea that shows the tough winds as a greater being
awww i loved this. the rhyme creates a playful mood and its cute (:
Angelena,
Great use of academic language in your comment.
Coey
Your choice of the word “destroy” develops the strong mood in the poem.
Is it a strong mood, as in strength, confidence, or dissatisfaction? It’s not exactly clear what the word strong means in your comment.
Coey
I appreciate your rhyme scheme. Great poem
Why? What is the effect?
Coey
Why do you appreciate the rhyme scheme? What is added because of it?
Coey
The repetition of the word “Little One” conveys such a hopeful tone in your poem.
The use of the words “Don’t make me feel blue”gives us a sense of imagery because when those words come into our mind we can see that you are gloomy and sad, which gives us off the sorrowful tone of the peom.
I am from oatmeal, chocolate chip cookies
From gathering eggs from the sleeping hens
I am from Carl’s wiggling, waving nub fingers
From riding the electric cart, foot on the go pedal
My brother Shawn and I, chasing down the chickens
I am from Tokay grapes large as grapefruit
And rows of endless corn swaying dreamily
I’m from V Street and “Stop War”
From Christie’s casual cool to the kaleidoscopic kids
Bouncing off the boards like rubber balls
I am from ribs slathered in peach
Barbecue sauce. I’m from skateboarding
With my dog—pulling me at Warp 3.
I’m from a balmy, Caribbean breeze
Touching my sore muscles, working out
The kinks.
From swaying palms, and reggae songs
A white sailboat anchors in the distant blue
I wave to myself, raise a mug, and “Cheers!”
In this poem, which I call “Swaying Palms and Reggae Songs,” I emulate the George Ella Lyon poem titled, “Where I am From.” Like Lyon’s poem, I structure my poem to create three distinct time periods: my past, my present, and my dreams. The form is important because I want to guide the reader through images of my past and on to images of my future; however, you’ll notice that my verbs end in “ing” showing past, present, and future events as if they are happening now. I made this choice because I want the reader to feel immersed in the poem’s memories and images.
In the first stanza I compare Tokay grapes to grapefruit for two reasons: One, I like the impressive size of grapefruit, and two I like the play-on-words with “grape.” Hey! Aren’t they both grape fruit?!
In the second stanza I gave more attention to the sound of the poem. For example I use alliteration in several of the lines, especially in line 10 with “bouncing off the boards like rubber balls.” Not only can you hear the “B” sound repeated, but also you feel how my children bring an excitement to my life, literally B B Bouncing off of everything.
For those of you who know your Star Trek, you’ll appreciate my allusion to the famous television series when I write “pulling me at Warp 3.” Warp 3 isn’t that fast, but it’s fast enough!
The final imagery in the poem provides a dreamy, lazy mood, which is what I want in the future. The final line includes the statement “Cheers!” in quotation marks because I want it to sound like I am raising my mug to the reader, acknowledging the reader’s experience spending time getting to know me. It’s like I am inviting the reader to perhaps even know me better.
The word “swaying” is used both in my childhood imagery and in my place of dreams. I repeated this word to bring unity to the poem and develop a motif of swaying imagery. Without this motif, the poem would be a random collection of ideas, so I think this detail helps to pull it all together.
Coey
Wow i loved your diction and imagery throughout your poem. Especially in line 1,”I am from oatmeal, chocolate chip cookies”. That line started to get me hungry!
You are like the sun that keeps me alive.
No matter where I am, you will be there.
You are all I need to help me survive.
Because of you, that is why I am here.
Without you, I am just nothing at all.
Because of you, I feel like I exist.
You always were there for me when I fall.
Because of you that is why I persist.
As long you are with me, I will go on.
No matter how hard it may knock me down.
I will get up and continue thereon.
Even if it would make me run-down.
You always were there for me when I fall.
So I will be there whenever you call.
I have to carefully choose my rhyming words for my rhyming scheme because if I don’t have the correct words then it is not a sonnet poem. I am trying to create a happy affect with my word choice because my poem is about a have memories. The kind of sentences that I am using is iambic pentameters because if I don’t have that then it is not consider a sonnet poem. I develop my style by thinking about happy memories. The mood that I want to create is a happy mood. I want you to hear a happy tone because when you hear it, it makes you feel relaxing and happy. There important figures of speech in my poem. I want to make those comparisons because it makes my poem sound nice and beautiful. The form of the sonnet is important because if the sonnet poem does not have 3 quatrains and one couplet then it’s not a sonnet poem. It also must have a rhyming scheme (ABAB CDCD EFEF GG) and it must have 10 syllables and 5 beats in every line in order to be a sonnet poem. I develop the theme on based on what I want to share to others. I want them to hear my message that I feel that it’s important enough and that is worthy to share.
The first two line in my analysis is my couplet.
I like your poem Mao. It’s true, your poem does have a happy mood. 😀
I like your sonnet Mao! Your poem reminds me of me when I was having so much fun when I was a little kid. 😀
The Mysterious Art of War
What is the mysterious art of war?
Is it the propaganda on the wall?
Is it the striking outside of the store?
Is it the art that that sits so proud and tall?
We shall know that the war is serious.
And often we are uncertain with clues.
Sometimes making us so delirious.
The thought of war may give people the blues.
Is there a way to solve these harsh puzzles?
Shall we learn from our bad previous faults?
Thou should study the countries harsh trouble.
Dance with the “book” as if it was the waltz.
Thou shall learn from life’s untwined history.
Hence, thou shall unravel War’s mystery.
– Paul Curtis
Analysis
1. I chose the words wall, store, tall, serious, clues, delirious, the blues, puzzles, faults, troubles, waltz, history, and mystery because they all demonstrate the meaning of war and what it can appear to be. I was trying to effect people and their thoughts on the art of war and how we can figure out its mystery. I wanted to cover all aspects of war and that if we pay attention to the history books and certain parts of the media we should learn from with those mistakes. I used certain phrases, for example “dance with the book as if it was the waltz” because I wanted to express to the audience about finding out ways to understand the question and what lies behind it.
2. I developed my style by grabbing ideas and spontaneously throwing them together to create a topic or meaning. I was trying to create a sort of smooth, but serious mood. I wanted the audience to hear an eloquent relaxed tone, but at the same be fierce and let the people understand the point that I am trying to get across.
3. The figure of speech that I used was “Is there a way to solve these harsh puzzles?” I made those comparisons because history and life in general can be a puzzling to many. It can bring excruciating thinking to our powerful imaginations. When we have figured out the puzzle we must learn from those mistakes and build upon them.
4. The form of the poem is very important because I import questions that help the poem and then I add answers to the questions to provide meaning. Also it provides meaning and helps guide the audience through and help them understand the meaning.
5. I develop a theme or motif by asking myself a serious of questions so that I can set up my thinking and analysis. My theme is “knowledge is capable of creating greatness, but it takes you to learn to accept it”
Paul, I like your poem because it is unique compared. When reading your poem, I had a feeling of being lost in a deserted place. Your words ‘Dance with the “book” as if it was the waltz’ develops a great creative mood in the poem. I appreciated the your usage of words which do develops a serious mood.
Your choice of the word “delirious” develops the uncertain mood in the poem. Also, I appreciate your ambiguous imagery, for it conveys your downcast tone about what war is and what war is waiting for.
Great use of academic language.
Coey
PAUL! I loved your poem! I liked your diction, it helped develop a mental image of how war actually is. I also liked how you asked questions throughout your poem, it forced me to think rather then just read the poem and it caused me to do some excruciating thinking using my powerful imagination
More than a Rose of Garden
By Peitu Xiong
Could you be more precious than a garden?
Your beauty does not age like a rose.
Your beauty is like a tree risen.
But thee is shy like a person exposed.
The heat and coldness makes your cheeks red hot.
The smell of sweet rose is nothing to yours
Which is the sweet scent of a small teapot.
And you belong to a group called sophomores.
Cold winds do blow roses in the mid spring.
And the garden changes every season.
For thee doesn’t change, thee shines like a king
Your charm only changes for a reason.
As long as I live or able to stare
Your lovely beauty will always be there.
i like your sonnet… you got a awesome couplet 😀
Your choice of the word “change” develops the diverse mood in the poem. Also, I appreciate your astonishing imagery, for it conveys your solid tone about the person who changes during season, but a part of your poem says that the person stays the same along with beauty.
The comparisons about beauty in your poem conveys a sense of gentleness that adds to your blissful tone.
Sonnets in Poetry Café =)
We all know that you heart I so Kindly
Please Look this is more than just a line See
Stay Beautiful walk in to it Blindly
You’re the piece of the puzzle that Binds me
Got me crazy doing all the right Things
Captivated by your eyes and your Skin
You are the real reason that my heart Sings
I’m glad that I’m the one who makes you Grin
So let me the one you believe In
I swear I got you, it’s okay to Fall
Now I see our love has start to Begin
I promise you that it won’t hurt at All
You’re the definition of Beautiful
And when I’m with you I’m Invincible <3
1. Well the words I chose in this sonnet were to show how I felt about that special person. I use ten syllables and five beats for this sonnet to express how much I love that person. The affect I was trying to create is that this sonnet is like a story. From beginning to end as the first two Quatrain show that I met her and starting to have feelings. The 3rd quatrain is like telling the reader that “give me a chance and it’ll be perfect I promise” that’s what it’s basically saying. The couplet shows the two are together and the feeling of it is like nothing can go wrong.
2. Well I developed my style by just writing how I felt towards that special person of mine. The kind of mood I was trying to create was a happy in-love mood. The attitude you get or the tone you use when you get the feeling of love.
3. Well to be honest I don’t think I was putting a type of figure of speech like I just wrote how I felt about the person I really adored and this is what just came out of my head but not only my head it came out of my heart , and that’s how I feel about the person.
4. The form is important it has to have a rhyming scheme and the ten syllables or it would not be called a sonnet. The form also became a great role in this poem because it showed what’s going on in each quatrain.
5. I developed my theme by talking about the person I love throughout the whole poem. My theme is : love takes time to grow and those who found the “one” has never left their side for one second (=
Your choice of the word “beautiful” develops the lovely mood in the poem. Also, I appreciate your rare imagery, for it conveys your considerable tone about your love towards a person you know or anyone else who may know her.
Will You Be Only Adoration? Written by Chingmeng Xiong
Will you be my only adoration?
Hopefully you will accept my request,
Because you are my one motivation.
You always be wishing me at my best.
I see your amazement is a bloomy.
You always said that you will stay happy,
But I can see you face is so gloomy.
You shouldn’t be feeling a bad zappy.
Your eyes are like the shooting stars at night.
Don’t close your eyes because they are pretty;
Don’t be in a spot that is really tight.
I don’t want to feel so down of pity.
Will you be my love in this life?
I hope you could be my one future wife.
I chose words that will help explain the love because I thought that if love is shown externally then the words should become more intense towards love and affection. I was trying to create the cheerful moment about a strong and emotional relationship. I put periods in most of my sentences but some of them have commas or semicolon. I chose those punctuation because I think that the idea from the sentence should connect to one person’s memory of a time they were in love or be loved by and cherish those moments.
The style I used is to stick with the positive and not with the negative because love is more positive but there is a negative side of love and it is called emotional pain. I think the mood I was trying to create is gratitude of happiness. I think the attitude I wanted you all to hear was cherishing the love you have for a person, friends, or family members because love has bunch of meaning towards a person or object. Also, I think that love gives a reader a little spark in their thought their own love to a person or more.
I not even sure I have important figure of speech and please do tell me, I really appreciate it. I think those figure of speech compares why I think of what love is and what love can remind you, the readers, about your own love you have in the past and always cherish it no matter what.
Well, I didn’t have time to think about the form of the poem, but I think it would at least tell an idea or two from the quatrains and couplet.
I think I develop my theme by thinking of what love means to me and everyone around me. Also, I think that my theme is more ambiguous, but I think the theme compels the true meaning of love to human beings.
I appreciate your beautiful imagery, for it conveys your soothing tone about happiness.
School, day passes by to that new kid,
Quick as a flash from a camera, yet
He is curious as a monkey. Bells ring,
We know that’s your way out of school.
Town, in the rush from the walking or
all the writing to the roof of your life.
Children of all ages just trying to say
“Hi mom” or “hey dad”, as quick as possible.
Streets, white powder cover it like a donut,
but not enough to stop ones commute home.
Jackets puffed and poofy to heat that cold blood.
But not his that is so…
Now, accustomed routine of walking down that
quite yet disregarded street. perfect to plan an
attack, as if it was a lion going for its pray,
that are deer is venerable to many lions.
“Why am I fighting to live, if I’m just living to fight.
Why am I trying to see, when there is nothing in sight.
Why am I trying to give, when no one gives me a try.
Why am I dying to live, if I’m just living to die?”
Young kid must have thought while in the fight for his life.
The life of one young Asian male
almost gone. The same hits over
and over, again repeated. Yet
running away as he could at the end.
The same I would do but without
the same courage as him.
–by Alex (me)
The words that I had chosen that gave the most meaning to me and to relating to the readers had to be venerable, cold blood, courage, and life. The reason I chose these words because I was able to create a certain emotion and feeling. This emotion was a chilly and hair razing one. It was a hard to give the right tone because I didn’t want to give a tone that would crazy away the reader but just enough to make them aware of this situation . I also used these stanzas where each one gave any idea or an image to the scene of the young male that got hurt. This image had to begin from the school morning all the way to the end of the battle. I believe that the way my poem was shaped gave a great deal to the chilling tone I wanted.
My style of tone was created through the way I first felt when watching this video. I tried to use this voice that would sound like me in person. The voice would be soft yet with a big meaning to it all. This way I am able to create the most realistic feeling to it when the readers go through it.
The figure of speech that was used in my prose poem was metaphor, and simile. The reason for that was to again give that atmosphere of reality to me and the readers a way to connect to my main idea. The idea of the feelings the young male had also to give a universal meaning which can be changed in personal minds, idea like “fight the undefeated, to overcome the worst.” and a lot more of that nature. The form of this poem is extremely important. In other words, without the shape the theme, setting, and voice could all be miss read or even miss interpreted because it could have looked like one big block of any idea. When in reality it is many meaningful thoughts that cause an even bigger message.
The way I developed my theme was by using the images from the video and transmitting them in a language that others could relate to. This way not only would I understand and feel the situation but other would to. I was able to create this picture with not only words but meaning. The picture of the young man getting jumped and the meaning of how ones injury can bring millions safety!
Awesome poem Alex! I like it! 😀
Your choice of the word “disregarded” develops the curious mood in the poem. Also, I appreciate your straightforward imagery, for it conveys your desperate tone about what kind of life is between fight to numerous people in the world.