Writing a Short Story and Developing a Symbol
December23
Symbols Slide Show
•Write a short story with a symbol that is central to the plot.
•Use a symbol that does not already have strong meaning attached to it.
•You decide what “short story” means. Did you use a symbol to create tension or develop a character?
•How did you develop your symbol?
•What do you want your reader to experience or to feel?
•What other ideas might your reader associate with your symbol?
•What do you appreciate about your symbol/story?
After posting your short story or poem, be sure to include your analysis. Comment on two of your classmate’s short stories, providing questions, insights, or comments. Posts and comments are due by Friday, December 30th, 2011.
Sandra arrived to her best friend Kiley’s house at 3:00 pm on a Sunday afternoon on a sunny day. She was excited to see Kiley after seven years. The last time she saw Kiley was during their highschool graduation, and after that Kiley moved. Now, she’s established a family and is living in a large mansion. She became the wife of a wealthy physician and the mother of a lovely boy, Alexander.
Sandra parked the car near a large black gate. She walked to the gate and since there wasn’t a lock on it, opened the gate. The gate creaked so loudly, it could’ve been heard from the other side of the world. They need to lubricate this, she thought. She entered and stood infront of a large mansion.
The beautiful, white mansion stood tall and proud. The magnificent appearance pulled Sandra closer and closer towards it, until Sandra was standing in front of the door. She knocked three times, until a lady came to open the door. She wore a black dress, with a white apron on top, her hair was tied up in a bun.
“Hello, I take it you’re Sandra?” she asked with a smile.
“Yes.” Sandra replied, smiling back.
“She’s been waiting for you. Come in.” the lady gestured.
Sandra entered with her left foot in, and immediately, she heard the loud thunder roar. Sandra looked up at the sky and saw the darkest of clouds that weren’t there before.
“Come in! Come in!” The lady pulled Sandra inside. The moment Sandra’s eyes landed on the interior of the house, she was almost horrified. The walls, every wall, was black. Every piece of furniture, even every painting, was black. Anyone would’ve been surprised if they seen the outside first, and then the inside. It was almost haunting.
“Sandra!” a young lady called while coming down the stairs. Sandra instantly realized the sweet voice of Kiley. Her eyes landed on the stairs, and saw her dressed with her husband. She was wearing a black dress with white jewelry, and her husband was wearing a black shirt with a white tie.
“Hi Kiley!” Sandra yelled and ran to hug her friend. She also hugged Kiley’s husband.
“Glad you can make it. I was waiting for you.” Kiley said.
“Yeah, happy I made it too. Weird storm, right?” Sandra asked.
“What storm?” Kiley asked, confused.
What?, Sandra thought. She herself was utterly confused.
“Ok, let’s forget about the storm, and have dinner.” the husband said.
Dinner? But it’s only like three, Sandra thought. She looked at the nearby black clock, with white handles, and saw it was only 6.
“But, isn’t it three o’clock?” Sandra asked.
“No, it’s 6 Sandra.” Kiley said, and looked at her husband. He also looked confused.
“I’m-” Sandra began, but was interrupted.
“Ok, tea time!” the lady that greeted her at the door yelled, which startled Sandra, not that she wasn’t already worried.
Kiley and her husband smiled, and walked over to the living room, where the lady was pouring them tea. Sandra joined them.
“So how have you been Sandra?” Kiley asked.
“Alright. Training to be a fire fighter.” Sandra said, while hesitating a little. Truth is, people found it unusual for a female to want to be a fire fighter, but for Sandra, who had a fear for fire and hated it with a passion, tried to overcome her fear by trying to face it.
“Wow. That’s unusual.” Kiley’s husband commented.
“I have a fear for fire, so I’m trying to get rid of my fear.”
“Oh. Well then, it must be terrible being afraid of something like fire. It burns like hell.” Kiley said with a playful smile on her face.
“Yeah. It does.” Sandra said, and drank her tea, which she almost wanted to spit out since it tasted unusually burnt.
After an hour of talking, Sandra yawned.
“I think Sandra’s tired.” Kiley’s husband said with a smile. “Your bedroom is upstairs to your left.”
Sandra gave a small smile and without saying anything, she walked upstairs.
“We’ll talk later Sandra!” Kiley yelled from downstairs.
Sandra walked up the creaking stairs, and when she arrived at the top, she made a left turn, and found her room for the night. She opened the creaking door, and was surprised to find her room completely white.
“I hope I’m not dreaming.” Sandra muttered to herself.
Why is this room so white?, Sandra thought. She opened the closet and found many patients’ gowns from a hospital on hangers. She looked through drawers and to her utter surprise, found needles and syringes. It shouldn’t even be a surprise since Kiley’s husband was a physician.
Sandra also found little kids’ toys in another drawer. Maybe it’s Alexander’s, she thought, and proceeded to leave. When she opened the door, she immediately jumped back. It was a little boy, Alexander, dressed all in white.
“Hello.” Sandra approached carefully.
“Why are you here?” Alexander asked without smiling.
“I’m here to visit your mom.”
“We all died in a fire a long time ago.”
“What?!” Sandra yelled, and a sudden wave of dizziness hit her, and she fell.
Sandra woke up slowly to a dark room. First thing she saw was a bright light floating above her, which blurred her vision. As her vision slowly adjusted, she saw the same black clock she saw in Kiley’s mansion, and the clock still read 6:00. Sandra tried to get up, but she realized her hands and feet were strapped by black leather to a white hospital bed. She tried to break free or even loosen the leather, but she was too weak, weaker than before.
“Sandra. . . Sandra. . .” Sandra heard the faint voice of Kiley. “It’s time to face your fear Sandra.”
“Ki. . . Kiley. . .?” Sandra tried to speak, but she didn’t have the power to move her mouth. Near the foot of the bed, Sandra saw someone, who appeared to be Kiley’s husband, light a match with a sinister smile on his face.
“Shhh, don’t talk, you don’t need to.” Kiley said.
“What?”
“We can talk later, now you must rest. You’re tired.” Kiley said. Sandra felt a sharp needle penetrating her skin on her arm. Without seconds to spare, Sandra fell back to darkness.
The symbolism in this story is the black and white theme. For example, the mansion which is white on the outside and black on the inside shows that outiside, it looks beautiful but inside it’s really dark and haunting. And also the clothing, for example Kiley’s husband who wears a black shirt and a white tie shows how outside he’s nice but inside he’s evil and sinister. Sandra entering the mansion with her left foot first, and suddenly there was thunder symbolizes bad luck and foreshadows future events. And the time, 6:00, is a motif but also symbolizes the time when the family living in the mansion burned to death.
Wow….that’s very creepy. It reminds me of a horror movie. Nice job with the imagery, that gave it a real creepy effect. I like the foreshadowing…i mean i think that once you get to the part with Kiley and her husband coming down the stairs. It’s creepy but nice job…it’s amazing!!!
I agree with Silvya and I appreciate your insightful analysis. 🙂
Abhi
Jerry Lewis was an attractive man. For all women, his beauty was contagious. He was like a god when it came to women; it was as if Jerry gave life to women. The women would die to have him glanced at them even if it were for a slim second.
“Hi, Jerry”
“Oh, Hey”
“I am Miley Gibbs, and I was wondering if you want to grab some coffee, sometime, maybe today, with me, if you want to.”
“Sure.”
That’s how it started. Jerry and Miley were in a deep relationship, nothing else was more deep and pure. The Universe had been created for them to love each other.Jerry never before had loved a woman this much. He was weak to her presence. Miley loved him much. And the relationship continued.
“You never understand, Jerry. I have to do this.”
“NO! You don’t. You simply want to.”
“Fine then I want to and you can’t stop me.”
“Fine then I’ll just leave this house. Is that okay with you?”
“Go, I don’t care”
Jerry, overwhelmed with anger left the house. All the love disappeared for him, His anger was too strong. The universe had ended, and now all that remained was blank space. Then he met another girl.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes, I am fine.”
“Is there something wrong?”
…
“Well I have to go now, and my name is Mickie by the way”
“It was a fun night. You are amazing.”
“See ya”
Mile found out about Mickie. The universe indeed ended.
“Hey, Miley”
“Hey, Jerry”
“God, it’s been a long time”
“Ten years to be exact”
Jerry and Miley talked about their lives. They brought the good times back, created another magical Universe for a small amount of time. Then suddenly Jerry began to feel sick, as if he had an explosion in his whole body, the pain was unbearable. He quickly said bye and took off.
As soon as he stepped out of the site of Miley, Jerry felt normal, as if nothing happen.
Jerry and Miley meet a few times. This would happen to Jerry every time. As if there was an invisible force connected to Miley that made him sick when he was with her. It was Unexplainable.
Then one day Jerry saw a crowd of people surrounding something in the middle. He was curios and went to check. There he was Miley lying in a pool of blood cold as a rock. Jerry felt no pain.
So, where is your analysis of the symbol?
Nichole
Beautiful, green eyes, brown silky hair down her back, her name is Nichole. She has modeled and she has everything any girl would ever want. She’s almost perfect, but confidence is her weakness. She has none. At home she has a miserable life, she cries and she feels alone. She believes she’s not worth anything.
It all started when she turned 15 and discovered makeup. Nichole stopped believing in natural beauty. She wasn’t the happy little girl anymore. What made her feel on top of the world was that pink lip stick. It was the pink lip stick that changed her completely. She was the most confident girl when wearing that lip stick and still is. At the end of the day once at home Nichole has to wash her face, and of course including her lips, she’s not the same after the makeup is gone, it’s like if her confidence washes away every night along with that lip stick.
She’s very thankful to have such a lip stick; she can’t imagine her life without it. There was a time when she misplaced her pink lip stick and she couldn’t find it for a week or so. Nichole didn’t attend school during those days. Her parents tried buying her different lip sticks, different colors and from different stores, but it wasn’t the same. She insisted that no other lip stick could be the same as that pink lip stick. Nichole had obtained that pink lip stick as a gift; a model had given it to her, one of the most recognized at the time. That’s probably why it means so much to Nichole, after she found it she returned to school.
Nichole is not mean or an arrogant person when wearing the lip stick she just believes in herself. All she wishes for now is that the pink lip stick never wears off.
Where is your analysis of the symbol?
Short Story
The forest was dense, full or dangerous and wild animals. Walking into it was like walking into a trap with no way out. Daniel decided to take a camping trip with his wife Tammy, hoping that doing this would strengthen their relationship and make them forget the problems they were having after he found out about her job as a stripper. Little did Daniel know that this trip wouldn’t help at all. What it would do was bring him face to face with his fate. He had no clue that his wife’s plans were the complete opposite of his. She wanted him dead and only out of greed. Tammy was like one of the animals that lived in the forest. She had her plan and her prey picked out from the start, her husband and his death. Once they set out and finally arrived, Daniel was amazed at the beauty of the forest. He loved the beautiful view but he had no clue how dangerous it’d be deep inside. His wife began to show joy until they began hiking because her plan would soon be executed. This was September of 1921 and until this day he has not been found. It is as if the forest, or whatever was it in, had turned him into a million pieces and he’d blown away with the wind. Tammy died 6 years later in a city outside of Tahoe, where they had lived their years as a couple, of a drug overdose. She had been supplying herself with tons of cocaine with the money she kept after her husband Daniel “disappeared”.
I developed my symbol by beginning and ending the story with it, which was the forest. i described it as beautiful but dangerous in relation to the wife in the story. the point of the story was to make it feel mysterious. i associated ideas such as betrayal and being lost.
Invincible
I am invincible
Is impossible
For anyone to see me
Even when standing in the light
So bright
Awkward silence is all I hear
is hard to bare,
This road of darkness
A journey of loneliness
With only me, myself, and I
Alone
Not ever looking back home
Because without anyone there is no home
Like yelling to yourself in a dome
My Echo is all I hear
I must fight against this fear
Of loneliness
Even though I’m powerless
My heart is filled is with coldness
Filling my body with sadness
Tears dripping down my face
Falling in a fast pace
Forming into a lake
Drowning me with my own tears
Nothing to fear
Because soon I will be getting out of this loneliness
I develop my symbol by using my imagination of being alone. What I want my reader to experience is the emotion that is in this poem. The other ideas that my reader might get in this poem is loneliness and sadness. What I appreciate about my poem is that a special helped me thought of this theme and that there is deep emotion in this poem.
It’s really depressing, but I can feel your emotion 🙂
The Relationship of a guitar and a song
John wakes up to the loud noises of his family, little brothers running around the house and little sisters singing for the talent show at school. John gets ready for work, and as he walks out the door, he notices his brother, Michael, and his girlfriend, Stephanie, in the living room. They both look cute together. Stephanie’s parents like Michael and Michael’s parents like Stephanie, they seem to be destined to be together. John walks to his car and drives to work at Freeport Elementary School where he teaches first graders how to add and subtract.
Today, unlike any other day, is a special day when a musician name David comes to the school to play “By Chance” by JRA on the guitar for the kids. The kids sit around David as he plays the song. While John sits at his desk and listens to the song, he starts to feel love in his heart. The emotion comes from the guitar so smoothly and naturally yet, as the song nears the end, the emotion seems to struggle to stay as it fades away.
The kids like the song so much, they want David to play another song but he needs to go to another school to play for the little kids. David packs his guitar and just as he goes to leave, John walks up to him and tells him he is confused about the song. John explains to David he felt an emotion like love when he heard “By Chance”. David understands John’s confusion and tells him it is the feeling of love. To be more precise, when John heard the song, he thought of a girl he loved and that feeling came from the love he had for the girl. John was still confused but he understands he loves the girl and the emotion showed because he was thinking about her. David left and work resumed.
Later that evening, John decides to stop by the sandwich shop to grab a bite to eat. As he enters the shop, he sees the girl, Amy, inside. He couldn’t believe it, he is so happy to see Amy, his heart keeps beating faster and faster. John goes up to Amy and greets her and when she looks at John, she recognizes him. She is surprised to see him again in the sandwich shop. They both talk about how work is going for them and then Amy realizes she is late for work at the senior retirement home center. John wants to see Amy again so before she leaves, they decide to have lunch at the shop the next day. As Amy walks out to go to work, John is overcome with joy.
John orders his sandwich and walks out. As he walks out of the shop, he notices a guitar on display in the music store next door. John suddenly remembers about the song David played for the kids, so he decides to buy the guitar to learn how to play “By Chance”.
When John gets home, he contacts David for help in playing the song. David gives John help in how to play the guitar and the chords and words to “By Chance”. John is excited to play the guitar and express his feelings of love.
The next day, John gets off from work in the evening and goes to the sandwich shop to meet Amy. John tells Amy about him learning how to play the guitar, which begins the relationship.
January 1, John and Amy develop their relationship further as John learns to play the guitar. John and Amy start off their new year as being boyfriend and girlfriend. John practiced playing “By Chance” and now he can play the song. John plays “By Chance” to Amy, but the song doesn’t sound perfect because John needs to practice singing with the instrumental sound to perfect the song.
February 14, John has been practicing hard and now he can play “By Chance”. His family told him she was the wrong one for him, but he kept learning and learning and now he can prove to his family they were wrong. John tried hard to incorporate his singing with his playing the guitar, and after months of practicing, the bond between them grows even more. John organizes a family reunion because John has news to share with them. John brings Amy with him, since she is the important person. When the family members gathers around the dining table, John and Amy walks through the door. Instead of sitting down at the table, John moves everyone to the living room, where he sets up his guitar. Everyone sits on the couch while John seats Amy on a chair next to him. John begins to talk about his relationship with Amy and how he fell in love with her at first sight. Then John grabs his guitar and begins to play.
As John play “By Chance”, he begins to sing. His family and Amy are overcome with love and happiness. John finishes the song, yet he could still feel the love For Amy, then he begins to make his move.
John puts his guitar down, gets down on one knee in front of Amy, and takes out a box. John says, “Our friends and family said that we weren’t meant to be, that we could never make our relationship work. I tried and tried and now here we are. I played “By Chance” perfectly, it gives me hope to say, you and I are perfect for each other, “you and I are like Aladdin and Jasmine, let’s make it happen”. Will you marry me?” John opens the box to reveal a ring. Amy is surprised but she says, “Yes, I will marry you.” John and Amy hug each other and kiss. John’s family applause the couple and wishes them a happy future together.
Just then, David enters into the living room. David goes over to John and Amy to congratulate them. He then says, “Everyone, I would like to wish John and Amy a happy future. I also have a surprise.” David brings out his guitar and starts to play “By Chance”. John looks at Amy and says, “May I have this dance?” Amy says, “I would love to dance with you.” John and Amy move to the center of the living room and begin to dance as David plays the song. John’s family members begin to dance to the song.
John and Amy enjoy their first Valentine Day together, which marks the beginning of their happy future together.
That is a pretty good story. It’s very nice. I mean, i love how you relate Amy and John’s relationship to learning how to play the song on the guitar. It’s nice, because it shows how hard he works for the love he wants. It’s a great story. Great job!!!
Joseph, can you break it down for us?
It was November 22, 1995. Grace was walking up the altar in her beautiful white dress. Around her neck hung the same locket that he had given her two summers ago. She came up to the altar. Her gray eyes looked at him and she smiled. Her father had given her hand to Tyler.
He remembered every part of the wedding as vividly as the day it happened: her look, the vows, the rings, the church, everything. When the priest said, “You may kiss the bride,” he remembered the soft cherry-tasting kiss that Grace shared with him. He remembered his honey- moon and how happy they had been when they dined in the Eiffel Tower in Paris. That day in Paris, they took a picture together, which later ended up in the golden locket. He remembered how they had been so happy, roaming all over Europe in the three weeks that they were on their honeymoon.
They went everywhere together, always helping and supporting one another. They were the happiest couple ever. But 11 years into the marriage, disease struck. Walking back from the store, Grace had a seizure. Tyler was with her and he immediately called an ambulance. When it arrived, Tyler told the paramedics she had never had a seizure before. At the hospital, the doctor decided to make some more tests on her. A few days later, they both went into the doctor’s office to hear the results.
“I’m sorry to tell you this but…you have a brain tumor, Mrs. Starr. We found that it is inoperable. I want you to know that there are other options. There’s still hope.” The doctor said.
Tyler’s whole world came crashing down. He looked at Grace. He could see the despair on her face. When she raised her eyes to look at him, he could see that her eyes were filled with tears. She kept whispering’ “I’m sorry.” Tyler didn’t know what to do. He lifted her up and pulled her gently into his arms, telling her that everything was going to be okay. But he was scared; he was scared of losing the love of his life.
For the next five years, Grace fought desperately. She wanted to live for Tyler and for her, too. That was her inspiration. Unfortunately, the treatments didn’t help cure her and every day she was physically weaker. Tyler saw this and it broke his heart. He wished there was something he could have done for her. Tyler was at her side every step of the way: when she lost her hair and when she got sick from the chemotherapy and when she didn’t want anyone to see her. He stayed at her side even when she didn’t want him to be. He was there until her death.
On her deathbed, she told him how much she loved him and that she was sorry for leaving him behind. She told him everything he meant to her and how because of him, she had spent the best five years of her life even when she was sick.
Tyler told her how much he loved her and that he would love her forever.
At the end, Grace took off her locket and placed it in his hands. “I want you to have this so you can remember me and remember that I loved you with all my heart.”
Now, three months later, Tyler Starr had a job at a diner. He found his best friend, Angel on the way in. angel was with his girlfriend. Tyler made his way to the back of the diner. He could feel Angel’s stare on him. Angel was worried about him, but Tyler couldn’t do much about it. All he could do was think of Grace. His life had changed. He looked down at his wedding band thinking of the day he had married Grace. It was the most amazing day of his life. He still felt her everywhere. Now all he had was the golden locket. He went through the day, not complaining about anything, just focusing on getting home. When he did, he went straight to the room they had shared and he began to cry.
He couldn’t live without her but every time he looked at the locket, it gave him the strength to keep going. He had to because he had promised his wife he would. His happiness, at this moment, was trapped inside the locket. But I promise, Grace. I’ll do whatever it takes to let it escape and come back into my life, he thought, holding his wife’s locket.
I developed my symbol by writing how it influences the main character and showing the story behind it: all of the tough times and all of the happy times together. The locket was given to Grace two summers before the wedding and that also symbolizes the happy times that they spent before they were married. With this story, I want the reader to experience a sad feeling but I also want the reader to experience hope because the main character finds the strength to keep going. Other ideas that the reader can associate with the symbol is love, suffering, hope, and happiness. It could also be the main character’s wife. This might not be a great story but I like it because it shows how enduring love can be, and that when one cares for another, one has to learn to let go.
Sounds like a Nicholas Sparks novel :P. But it’s very lovely and I love the vivid imagery. 🙂
I like how you turn the tree into a person and by doing that you create a special meaning. I also like that you put in the passing of time and even though many years have passed they still feel a friendship for each other. It’s really nice.
Sorry Jason and Bee. this comment was supposed to be for Bee.
Change
Most kids feel hatred in family,friends, and enemies in the streets
but if they get send off to a satisfactory education
then they will feel free
if we all give them a chance
they have a heart
then we give them a start
to get an education and be smart
that they will feel the need for change
with the use of their brain
they help and stop the pain
help the people to have something to gain
without the need to be sick out in the rain
if we treat others as we are the same
no longer will they see people lying
and crying
for the people that is dying
from all the beating and fighting
creating higher chances of commiting a crime,
invest in kids’ education
to make a change
so they would help themselves
and staying out of jail cells,
we let kids advance to get an education
and share, give out, spread the love
we all to show representation
of friends with the society
by showing respect
we all can be doves.
I develop my symbol of change and love. The ways I created this symbol is by explaining the reality of kids to need an education to make a change and end the violence. Because kids are the future, our futures. I want the readers to experience of how people felt, how people live without a good education and living in a harsh society. Also wants the readers to know that we all can make change and make better society no matter how far in life you are at as long as we can help each other, we can better our futures and others. I appreciate my symbol because i never experience the life without education and help, it can be sad, so writing this poem helps me feel how those who experience felt.
I like it Jason. For the most part it’s true. Education is important in a child’s life and love is as equally important if not more. I definitely like it though. It’s a great poem
Nice poem Jason,
You make the reader feel the importance of education.
But the situation is different, not everyone sees the value and importance of education and your poem brings out its importance.
Nice (:
The Tree
In the countryside of a city, there was a boy named Kyle. Slim, pale, and dark haired with shiny black eyes. Living in a location where it takes two hours just to reach a school, Kyle was homeschooled.Kyle was a quiet boy and never grew up along anyone his own age except for a tree along the riverbank. At the same time he was born, the tree along the riverbank was also planted by his father. The tree was a friend to Kyle. Whenever depressed, mad, lonely, or even happy, the tree was his favorite person to meet. At the age of four, the tree was green and fresh in color and immature just like the Kyle. Whenever alone with the tree, Kyle always talked to the tree and the tree would always reply with quiet whispers to his ears. At the age of sixteen, the tree had a dark brown trunk, hard and thick with star shaped green leaves. To support its massive size, the tree had to reach its roots toward the river. Together, they would watch the sun set and have long coversations. The tree’s whispers grew into loud, clear speeches that the Kyle never heard. By the age of eighteen, Kyle left home for college at the city and left the his family. He was successful, graduated from college and became a rich businessman. However at the age of sixty, events turned around and due to economic conflicts, his business went down. He managed to live the next twenty years in the city but pressures eventually led him back to the country. As an old man now, Kyle walks along a riverbank. On his way, he meets an old childhood friend, the tree. However, old and weak, Kyle no longer can hear as well when he was a child and the tree’s voice was now nothing but brushes of leaves. But they would srill pretend to have conversations as they would as children.
I developed my symbol by thinking of the abstract idea I wanted to which was friendship then built around that foundation and made my story. I want for my readers to experience sadness or happiness at the end where the characters reunite. Other ideas my readers might associate includes happiness, childhood, or peace. I appreciate my symbol because I never really experience having a childhood friend yet so by writing this I get to interpret that.
The Story
My name is Faith King I’m 21 years old and I’m a singer, well actually scratch that, I was a singer. You see, my parents were both in this band called “The Story” and that was how they met. They were like ‘Sonny and Cher’ the only difference was that they never made it to Hollywood and their marriage didn’t go down the drain. Anyways, my parents were these exceptional singers that took the stage every night at 7:00 p.m. in this old rusty café that was two blocks away from our house. On a usual night they would have about 11 spectators but on Friday nights, that’s when the party starts. “The Story” would have an audience of about 45 all crammed into that smelly small café. Because “The Story” was so popular the owners of the café decided to name Friday nights “Story NIGHT.” It sounds corny I know but I loved it. I was stuck behind the cashier with Uncle Benny every night from 7:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. watching my parents singing and dancing the nights away ever since I was 1 week old. I remember telling myself at the age of four that I was going to grow up to be just like my parents. And just so you know Uncle Benny wasn’t really my uncle I mean we weren’t even close to being related through marriage but he was always there for me whether it be from 7:00 to 9:00 p.m. or not. Uncle Benny changed my diapers, fed me, and babysat me whenever my parents were busy or out of town. Not saying that my parents never took care of me because they did. They home schooled me, sang to me every single night to sleep, and taught me every musical instrument there is out there. At the age of 6 I went onto that stage at the café where my parents would sing at and started singing my heart out but the only audience I had were my parents and Uncle Benny. I remember that night after dinner my father came into my room and said to me, “You have the voice of an angel and I’m not just saying that because your my little girl.” Looking back him I had the biggest happiest smile ever; he smiled back at me and gave me a great big hug. Then as he walked out of my room he shouted looking back at me, “I guess you won’t be needing your mother and I to sing you to sleep anymore right?” And I nodded back at him. Then he said, “You’re going to be big someday I know it.” But unfortunately Dad you knew wrong. After I turned 18 I was going to go straight to the Big Apple and audition for Broadway it couldn’t possibly be that hard I mean I’ve auditioned a gazillion times for opening acts and I got it every time. Broadway was nothing it was going to be part of my story. I was all packed and ready to go but then my mother stopped me and demanded, “Young lady the only way you are going to make it to the Big Apple is if you get your college degree and a job to pay for your transportation.” I acted like every perfect teenage daughter would during this situation, I whined, “But Moooom! Ugh. You are ruining my life. It’s going to take years until I can save up for the Big Apple! I mean come on I’m a girl spending money is what I do best, not saving it. Please Mommy!!! Pretty Pretty Please!! I LOVE YOU!!” My Mother finally gave in and came up with this proposition, “Fine but not until you get your college degree by the time you’re done you’ll probably be around 21. At that time you can go and chase your dreams. I’ll help with the transportation but that doesn’t mean that you AREN’T going to be saving up. Got that?” “Yes thank you Mommy, I love you. But isn’t 4 years still too long,” I said with a frown but I accepted her proposition. And so 4 years had gone by and I’m finally here in the Big Apple. This morning I was walking down 42nd street to go audition for the Broadway Musical “Wicked” and everything felt so unreal. As I entered that auditorium I could smell victory, my story falling into place. As somebody called my name “Faith King” I knew that I was halfway there all that there was left to do was to blow the Director’s mind away. I was on that stage, the music came on, and my voice started to flow. I was on a roll until the Director cut me off halfway. I didn’t know what I did wrong, I hit all the right notes, I had the emotion that a Broadway star is supposed to have, and I didn’t mess up the line like that other girl before me. I was standing up there afraid and confused. Then the Director said to me, “Why Broadway? It says here on your resume that you have no Broadway experience. You’re a singer who sings in bars and cafés, your audience doesn’t seem to have exceeded more than 100.” At that moment I was embarrassed and petrified. But I didn’t show it to her. I manned up and answered to her with pride, “Because I know that I can do it. I’m the best. My parents are singers…” “Singers! You say?” she shouted. “Yes singers and I’m their daughter, which means I’ve got their voice..” And then she cuts me off again, “Miss Faith King, do you know anything about Broadway? It isn’t just a silly little game okay. I don’t care if your parents are singers and I don’t care if you’re a singer. All that I do care about is if you have the passion inside of you. Yes it does take a great voice to make it here but it also takes practice. And I don’t mean the kind of practice that you do in front of the mirror. You have to come onto this stage ready to explore, let go, and make all that practice look effortlessly like you were born with it. With a name yours anything can happen but it won’t happen in Broadway my dear. Thank you for your time. Next!” At that moment everything that I have ever known came crashing down. I walked out there as slow and confused as a turtle. My mind was blank and I had no idea where I was going. But then I ended up in this café on Broadway, the street. I was sitting here on this white creamy comfy couch by the window watching the people pass by and now I realize where I went wrong. I was so obsessed and inspired with “The Story” that that was all that I have ever known. Just because my parents were singers and met in a band and picked up many gigs didn’t mean that I had to have that same story. I was so focused on making my story just like theirs that I didn’t have the chance to explore other options maybe a doctor or an astronaut. You know I was so mad when that lady said that I didn’t belong in Broadway but now I understand because everything she said was true. Whenever I sang in front of an audience I never had that passion, the kind of passion that she was referring to. Actually I don’t even know what that kind of passion feels like because I have never experienced it. I’ve lived my whole life thinking believing that singing was all that I have needed and is good at but it isn’t it’s not my passion. Maybe it was until I was 8 but not anymore. So now I’m ready to find my passion. That something that I am happy to live, eat, and breathe with. I’m ready for “The Story” my story. Whatever it is I’m ready for it. My name isn’t Faith King for nothing.
I used my symbol to shape the character. My symbol was “The Story” the band that Faith King’s father and mother were in but is doesn’t symbolize the band itself. “The Story” symbolizes life without life, there is no story without a story there is no character and without a character there is no book. Just like how Tim O’Brien’ “The Things They Carried” is a fictional novel, so is “The Story” yet it all seem so real. “The Story” symbolizes all there is in life; life is about situations. One first has to be in a situation or an obstacle in order for it to become a memory. “The Story” symbolizes love, goals, hopes, faith, and dreams. “The Story” is ambiguous because it can be anything. We all have hopes and dreams and just because they will never come true doesn’t mean that we can’t keep on believing. This is what I want my reader to experience. I want my reader to have a personal connection with my character. Through their hopes and dreams then to have them all fall apart then having to pick up the pieces and start making new goals and new dreams. I want my reader to have the same realization that Faith King had at the end of this story. I’m very happy with the way that my story turned out with my symbol and character because I fell that we can all relate to her. I really liked my reference to the Big Apple, New York City, because a lot of people say that New York City is where the dreams become real; its filled with inspiration. And that was the kind of impact that I wanted New York City to have on my character. Faith King symbolizes superiority because I think we all believe or want to believe that we are our own boss and we can take control of our own life.
I love it. It’s true though. Sometimes you’re so focused on one dream and you find out that it’s actually not where you belong. I love the flow of the story. it flows very nicely It feels so realistic. I love how you incorporated New York City in the story.
That is a deep commentary on your symbol. Love it!
Two people grew up together, facing troubles and hard-times in finding themselves and what is considered to be called “home”. Their lives were un-stable, they have puzzles in which some of those puzzles were missing and it was desperately needed to be found before situations turn out for the worse. However, when those two people are together, those missing puzzles seemed to no longer exist, those missing puzzles no longer mattered. Those two people had a significant kind of bond. As those two grew older, they sort of grew apart from one another, their bond was less vivid but it was still there, it will always be present. At times, they’d have disagreements and argue but their bond was so powerful to the extent that they could not even be mad at each other, not even for the most hurtful arguments. The two people with the significant kind of bond were brother and sister. Maturity took its course and they both planned their lives, promising that they won’t leave each other; they’ll always take care of each other. In regards to the promise, the brother gave a coin to his little sister not long after he enlisted. The coin wasn’t any ordinary coin. The coin had two battleships on it. Yeah sure, he’d always talk about his life-long career in serving; his little sister just never thought that day would come. The coin? She keeps it hidden away; no one can/will find the coin.
-I developed my symbol using the coin in my short story. The coin represents the bond. Coins are melted and molted together to fill in the empty spaces in which a coin is need to fill in order to make a perfect round circle. Circles are endless just like the two siblings bond. The two battleships represent the brother and the sister; they fight and travel far apart from one another but in the end, they won’t let each other’s ship sink.
Great use of imagery to develop your symbol!
Inspiration
She is Frida Kahlo
The artist that paints the picture of tradition
She is strength
After the 3 mistakes she’s made
She hungers for knowledge
And is eager to share it
Every day with those who don’t appreciate her
Inside of her is a light that shines brighter than
The summer solstice
Nothing in the world can cover it
When she needs to put her foot down
She becomes intimidating
And her voice demanding
She’s always making connections
From Germany to Mexico
She deals with problems through communication
She understands both sides because she speaks the language
Her blood is her joy
Her children are her pride
She is determination
Never stopping till she receives the best
She is admiration
Amazing people with her knowledge and grace
She is inspiration
To each and every person she meets across this nation
She is culture
The mixture of colors is what she is
I developed my symbol of culture in this poem by thinking of a certain person that I think describes her. She is a Spanish teacher and all of the descriptions above describe her and her life to an extent. What I want the reader to experience is an admiration for this person, a person that doesn’t always get appreciated and appreciation. The reader could possibly associate my symbol with a specific race and or all women to an extent. What I appreciate about my symbol is that the person I am describing is fit for
the symbol of culture, I believe that she fits the description well and that through this writing I am able to develop an appreciation for her and also admire her for her uniqueness and reflect on the impact she has made on my life.
I like the way you compare Frida to other abstract ideas–using metaphor. Then you develop the metaphors into a synthesized idea–culture.
It was freezing ice cold outside on the first day of winter in New York City. I sat as a stone staring outside looking at all those people walking with their scarfs dancing with the wind. I noticed how the trees no longer had their crunchy leaves attached to them, only the lonely branch looking died. I was glad that I had stayed home that day, just waiting for him to drop by with my breakfast. I had been sick for the last 2 days and he had promised to drop by to give me a home cooked meal. As I sat there waiting, I thought about all those years I spent with him. How we grow and fell apart together, just like the leaves on those branches. I remember when we first met; it was in the middle of winter I was running through the park getting to my job when I accidentally bump into him. We began on long seasonal journey right there. Just like the winter, we had a cold bonding, just beginning to get with one another. Then spring came along. That’s when everything begins to grow and the weather gets a little bit warmer. Just like our relationship, we grew closer to one another. Spring is when flowers grew, and in spring, he picked a bunch of flowers from his garden and gave it to me. He had asked me to be his girlfriend. That spring, we spent the most time together, having so much fun. Spring is a mixture of cold and warm, just like that we had our ups and downs. Summer is the hottest season. During this time, it was the heat of the relationship. We had our most downs. We argued about the smallest topic, and we stayed mad at one another for the longest. With us both being busy with work, we had no time for one another. I remember when fall began; the topic of letting go came up. We had ignored each other for a week. The relationship was falling apart, like the leaves outside, being blow in all directions. I had felt like the leaves being worthless just falling down. Our relationship was falling apart. And now that it’s winter, almost one year with one another, I hope it not just like the seasons. There was a knock at the door, I opened it and there he was, with a huge smile on his face waiting for me to let him inside to cook me soup. As I watched him cook, I smiled and waited patiently for my soup. When he finished, he served it with love and right there, I knew that this relationship will last a lifetime. He had truly loved me and our relationship is not based on the changing seasons but life itself, and that I had only compared it because I had doubt myself. But as we spent time together, I realized that we have something special and that he’ll never let me go like that leave on the branch in winter.
I had compared the season to relationships. IN this short story, I had made the changing season to how relationships change, but as we look at it that way, not all relationship has to follow how the season change. They all go through the same steps of falling apart and growing together. The symbol of the short story was the leaves on the branches, how they grow on the branches and as the season changes they fall off. I want the reader to feel how the season changing is like relationship, and the feeling of falling down and falling apart like leaves and then growing something new. Relationships are everywhere, with families, friends, and lovers. Everyone can relate to them. I appreciate how many people can relate to this. And how the symbol means what it means. You can make a symbol out anything.
i like your comparison between the relationship falling apart to the leaves falling from the tree because it show this imagery that their relationship was falling apart very fast. and i like the way you developed your symbol GOOD JOB :]
Sitting here sipping a cup of tea
tasting its bitter sweetness
Like a glass doll all dressed and nicely clean
Fragile and sensitive as i am
Thinking about how i can pick
the thorns out of the roses
Confused as I am
What should i do?
Should i leave it there and let the wind guide me
like a leaf on the ground?
People will laugh and make fun of the leaf
but guess what?
Go on and be a tree
Resist and continue to grow
As hard as it is, time will soon surpass me
Plain and simple as I can be
No knives can cut through me
I develop my symbol through diction because I chose words that I feel have a kind of connotation to determination. Also I used imagery to give the reader a sense of what’s going on, so they can imagine the image. the words have a connection with my symbol and how I see life. I want the reader to feel how reality is because life can be a difficult path to overcome. Life will throw all kind of different obstacles at you but as long as you keep going, everything is going to be okay. The reader might associate the idea of freedom and independence because you can break free like a leaf, flying freely everywhere. Also it can be seen in a feminist lens because women are usually suppress in society so they can overcome whatever is thrown at them and become stronger. I like how my symbol symbolizes more than one idea because each word can connote a different meaning based on the connection. I appreciate how the images transformed from a doll to a leaf and then a tree.
Dear Michelle,
It seems like the subject of your poem is making a progressive transformation, especially through the image of the tree. Yet, I don’t understand the significance of the doll as it seems disconnected from the tree metaphor. What if you changed the doll to an acorn, keeping with the tree extended metaphor?
Coey
Yeah. I guess it makes more sense if it’s an acorn because it will go with the flow and have a better connection with the tree. Thanks. There is always more room for improvement! 🙂
Yes, in my writing as well! 🙂
The story started when the boy was in 5th grade. He was a quite boy, no one bothered talking to him or even play with him. People like to mess around with him because they thought that he was weird. The boy named was Thomas. His teachers tried to help him finding his way out of the life that he has but it was no used. Thomas was an orphan, he never had the chance to see the face of his own mom or dad. The idea of finding a perfect house struck him his whole life. He wandered around the orphanage house every night just to find an answer to his questions. “Where did i come from?” “Who brought me here?”. looking at the moon light every night, as the light shined on Thomas’ face, it sparkled off a silver necklace that was around his neck as he believed when he was a baby. Thomas always wondered what is the letters on the necklace really meant. The first time he try to understand the phrase on the necklace, it was the first time he learned how to read. Thomas spelled out the phrase letter by letter. B-E-Y-O-U-R-S-E-L-F. The phrase stuck in his head from that point on. He cant sleep without mumbling the letters. He kept the necklace for the rest of his life, protecting it with all his life, and giving the necklace the proper care that it deserved. Every morning, Thomas go to school because he believed that it’s the only place where he can be alone and also observed other people’s actions even though everybody thought that he was weird, even his teachers. He was called “the weird kid,” by everyone in the school as well as the orphanage house. Thomas didn’t really care what others have to say or think about him. Thomas doesn’t talk much, he barely speaks.
I developed the symbol by thinking of a character that can represent the situation of kids that were left by their parents when they were little. I want the readers to experience the hard core feelings of Thomas and what he’ve been through.
So what is the symbol? Im a little confused. Is it the necklace or the boy?
It’s a deep story. It’s also sad but it inspires hope. I like the description. It definitely delivers its message.
I like how this can really relate to other people. Your symbol was nice too, because the letters on the necklace spelt out to be, Be Yourself. And that’s what everyone should be even if they are left behind. Good short story. (:
Nice story, Hieu. I like how it can relate to other people’s story. In a way its contradicting itself isn’t it because its saying to be yourself when at the same time do you need to know your past to know who you are, because some believe because of my past this is who I am, but what about Thomas who is he and how will he be himself if he never had an example to follow. Just a thought thank you for sharing (:
Dear Hieuy,
I guess I think of the silver necklace as a symbol of innocence or of protection. I’m not really clear on the abstract idea represented here. What is the significance of the spelling?
Coey
Today, what the time you say? It’s around 30 minutes before midnight. You know, i got a story i can spare at this time. How about a tail, tall tale, to get you mind running.
Not starting like that “Once upon a time” crud you kids been listen too. It’s starts like this.
Me and my buddies live good old fashion lives like you all did. We all have a life, a reason and watches on our wrists describing the time we had life.
One of my buddies, his name was Tim. He had a job working at the hospital, never enjoyed it. He have time to life it out. He had a watch, Red, no ruby-like and crimson as the sun can be. Boy, it was red, Blood red.
My other two buddies aren’t nothing of important. But anyway, He was called Jimmy, He enjoyed cash, money grubbing bastard. He lived an honest life fighting the world of economy. However the case, He had a golden-watch, covered on gold dust and in-crested in diamonds. He’s rich as one can be, that maggot.
My last friend is called Bob, I know right plain name, expecting something big, but he’s not. Bob is… how u say Bob? He’s nothing special, nothing important. Strange guy he is. He lives… well I don’t actually know about how he lives. He just, there wearing his plain watch, no colors, no nothing.
Me? *HUMP* i ain’t got nothing, all I got is a son who don’t ever talk. Anyway I’m a teacher, nothing special. All I got is a job, get me and my son fed. All i got is a watch, nothing special just a toy watch with 15 minutes until midnight. Supposedly I’m suppose to get a raise or something in the next 15 days, 15 minutes.
Anyway, enough of the details, I’ll get straight to the point. Tim was ,what you would call, crasy, not crazy or crabby, crasy. The fool made a new name to talk about. He and his red watch surround himself in work, no, more then that, with corpses. strange guy huh? Well that not the end of it. He wanted more, what ch’you ma called it, RBC? Anyway He was mental, place under arrest. Guess now kids, where was he place? Well that simple, in war folks, cruel warfare the last you’ll see of him. Last i heard from him was when he gave us, Jimmy,Bob and I, his red watch, had only 6 minutes left on it.
Now we didn’t hear from him since, but only letters came that represents his words “Freedom and blood”. It was made at December 27th, 3 days left for him. He was mighty happy with himself, He even wrote that he had a new watch, Black; Black as dirt can be. Darn fool never told us watch time he put it. War with him, and he was satisfied.
Anyway that all the story, plain fool hardy simple. Look at the time, 1 minute is all i can spare from my toy watch. Guess what day it is folks, kids. The last day for me is December 30th, Boy time flys.
– I developed my symbol by adding Hard crude language. Providing simple but depressing descriptions for the watches. I want my reader to feel Uncomfortable to give them a feeling they never felt before, if possible. The readers of my story may feel discomforted or rather bored/depressed. Hopefully this well add to there amount of lens they can see through of possible or wanted.
I really liked how you mentioned the watch and time often. Also it was interesting how some of the words started out with the same letters and your diction develops the tone and mood of the story.
It’s got this flow to it. Like a stream of consciousness, but the words make it choppy so it makes it real.
I like how the story has many descriptions of all the people in the story. And the watch brings them together.
Dear Kev,
So the different colored watches are indicative of how much life-time you have remaining? Is black death? Gold is youth? Red is nearing death?
Coey
wow, no one posted one yet since i came back…
posting my tomorrow…
It was 0300. We were squatting by the edge of a forest opposite a field of tall grass. We were waiting for the evac chopper to extract us back to base. The mission was nothing special, get in and get out. Nolan was fidgeting with his rear sights, as if annoyed by their presence. I was biting at my crucifix, a habit of mine since I had recieved it. Ryleigh stared past me into the field, lost in thought as usual. “Skytop to Iceman, ETA 5 minutes, over”, I heard on my headset. I raised 5 fingers, well aware they had heard the same on theirs.
Bam. A shot echoed from a click away.Nothing uncommon in this area.
Nolan stopped fidgeting with his sights. Ryleigh regained his focus and sat up. “Jester to Skytop, request you speed her up, Iceman’s wounded, over”, he spoke into his mouthpiece. I looked down. In between my ammo pouches was a slow and steady stream of blood.
Nolan waddled over and took my tac vest from me. He cut off my shirt and helped me slide my armor off. There was a gash across my chest. At on end, my crucifix now covered in blood and with a dent in it. At the other, a 7.62 round partially imbedded in my pectoral. As Nolan pulled out the med pack, Ryleigh stared at my chain in marvel. “Un-be-fricken-lievable”, he whispered more to himself than to me.
The chain and crucifix were the point of much ridicule before every mission. “Why do you insist on wearing that thing? Just leave it”, Nolan would say as we headed for briefing. The chain was nothing special, just a gift from my godfather. I wasn’t what one would call religious, and the chain was about 5cm over regulation. But I needed it, it was a part of my daily routine.
The round now embedded in me was from a sniper no doubt. A hit-and-run. It had come in at an odd angle. Cut through my vest and shirt. Pierced my armor, only to hit my crucifix and slide across my chest. I was alive because a ritual placed a small piece of gold over my sternum.
“Iceman to Skytop, be advised sniper near the LZ, over.”
“Skytop to Iceman, Confirmed, prepare for fast extract, over”
As Ryleigh and Nolan propped me up, the chain must have slif off. It was only when they tossed me into the chopper that I realized it’s absence. Somewhere over the darkness Ryleigh stuck out his palm, in the red glow of the instrument panel, I could see the blood-stained gold glisten.
I developed the symbol by surrounding it with controversy. The reader understand the ramifications had the crucifix not been there. Due to the religoud nature of the crucifix, spirtuality can be be attached to it. However, because of the habitual actions developed in an other time, it may be accredited with nostalgia. The symbol is the center for the story, and although the reader can vlearly see it, it is not forced upon them. It would not damage the overall story if the reader chooses not to explore the symbol, making the symbol more aprreciated.
Nice. I get it. it’s a real nice story. i definitely love all the detail. Nice detail about adding the crucifix though. what else can ii say…It’s a pretty awesome story. Mine is soooooooo long. I don’t think you can call it a short story.
Dear Victor,
Your imagery and diction create tension somewhat reminiscent of a hard-boiled novel. I like the “Un-be-fricken-lievable” utterance. That’s cool. If you wanted to make the symbol more controversial and less conventional, what could Iceman wear? Great writing!
Coey
“Fog”
The fog was at my door again this morning. It silently tapped at my window, reminding me of those regrets which had not lifted. I didn’t want to listen, but I could feel its cool whisper from the other side, which can’t be waved away. The prickly mist can only envelop the body touching each skin cell, each, hair, each truth.
The sun is somewhere near the horizon—radiating heat, energy, and forgiveness. Yet no flare can penetrate or reduce the bitter, pungent, omnipresent gloom.
Through the hallway, I hear my children laugh and run, providing respite from this heavy enchantment. The fog has lost its potency, dissolving and giving way to the sounds of morning. Once again, I am free.
“Analysis of Fog”
To develop my symbol, I used personification to show how the fog was actively pursuing my attention—just like my subconscious regrets. I want the reader to feel regret as an experience you can’t get away from; it is in your head with you always, touching you all the time. My reader might see the fog as a symbol of death because I used the term “other side,” and the images of my children connote life and vitality. I appreciate how I used the sounds of children to lift the curse of my regrets.